Working through Matthew

I am reading through Matthew again...yes, I am rather fond of this book as it bears my name.  Surprisingly, this time I am finding all kinds of truths I had never noticed before.  I suppose with any book you read again, you're likely to find things you missed before.  I read Harry Potter about 4-5 times through and enjoyed it quite a lot each time, but I really can't say I learned or saw things I had missed before.  Matthew is different.

This time through I am noticing all of the non-spiritual things.  Obviously, I read and notice when Jesus performs miracles such as making the lame man walk, but I am more interested in the "normal life" perspective this go around.  For example, as soon as Jesus hears about the death of John the Baptist (Jesus' cousin), "He left in a boat to a remote area to be alone."  In all of my life, I've not paid any attention to that and certainly never heard a sermon on that verse.  I'm pretty sure that would be a terribly boring sermon too...probably best that never transpired.

But the reason this line caught my attention now is that it shows how human...how Matt-like, Jesus was at moments.  We see a man here who has healed the sick, made the lame walk, and raised the dead...yet, he finds a need to go and be alone when his friend dies?  Does He intend to mourn or pray or cry or scream?  We have no idea.  But, it stands to reason that some emotion caused Him to stop what He was doing at the time and go by Himself.  In these moments, He wasn't doing anything miraculous, which teaches me He was more like me than I had previously believed.  And if He is like me in those moments, perhaps I can be like Him in the other moments.  

Perhaps when He says, "go and sin no more."  He really meant, "Matt go and sin no more...and yes you can really do that."  The more I understand Jesus as a real life person, the more I can believe that I can actually live a life like His.  Will I feed 5,000 people with a few loaves and fish?  Probably not.  But, I may feed 5,000 one day by living on less and giving more.  Will I raise someone from the dead?  Not likely (lol...I can still hold out hope right?).  But I may be able to breathe life into someone who needs just enough encouragement to take another breath and choose not to end theirs.  Will I choose to sacrifice my life for the sake of others, to give when I would rather take, to love when I'd rather burn with bitterness?  God, I hope so.  And if a perfect man who walked this earth believes I can do it, who am I to doubt?

Compound Decisions

Compound interest.  Einstein said it is the most powerful force in the universe.  This coming from a key architect of the atomic bomb carries a bit of significance.  If you've ever looked at the math of it, you can see what he meant.  But compound interest doesn't just involve math.  The decision to save, invest, and not spend on a consist, even relentless quest is what fuels compound interest's power.  And so, compounded decisions rather than interest provides the secret...one decision after another to use money wisely.  Do that over a year, a decade, and a lifetime and you will build a tremendous and unstoppable force.

This truth doesn't just apply to money, but all of life!

People don't just one day make one good decision that gives them a great marriage, a great business, great relationships, great success, or a great relationship with Jesus.  It is one decision after another after another.  To put it another way, Michael Jordan didn't become one of the best (if not THE best) basketball player of all time the day he first broke a record.  He compounded every shot he ever took to slowwwwwwllllllyyyy become the best basketball player that ever lived.  It is very much like moving a mountain, one pebble at a time.

And that's why most of us give up way too soon.  It is humbling (sometimes even humiliating) to see such little progress each moment of every day in pursuit of moving the mountain.  But this is how compounded decisions are created.  This is how we create momentum in all areas of life.  We choose each day with every decision to either build or destroy.  

People don't start out marriages knowing and wanting to cheat on their spouse.  It is a series of bad decisions that bring them to that point later on, by entertaining thoughts, desires, and emotions that compound and lead to the next bad decision.  This creates momentum towards an ultimately even worse decision that topples their marriage.  

But imagine if we intentional chose to build and strengthen and encourage and grow towards a positive vision and goal with every single decision...every thought, every moment?  If we really understood-as Einstein did-that each decision compounded on each other to help us reach a future goal, would we choose to take more seriously each moment?  We could build an amazing future.

Life to the FULL

I feel like I spend most of my life turning down the noise, lessening the clutter, retraining my brain, unlearning lies, and just generally get rid of everything that keeps me (and us) from fulfilling lives.  The vast majority of what we hear and see is based in lies or distracts us from the truth.  Give me real truth front and center, overflowing the brim and I will drink that down at once!

Unfortunately, I feel like I spend so much of my time throwing out the bad and very little time pouring in the good.  

Apparently I am not the only one stuck on this course, longing for a different path.  But to take such a path requires a life that looks very different from those lives around me.  This path is an ancient path which few have tread.  It's not worn and smooth; it is full of stone and rough edges.  But the sweat and the dirt of this path takes you to a life worth living.  

Where do we find such a path?  It is the path of Jesus.  Not that Sunday school Jesus or the Jesus that makes the TV evangelist rich or the Jesus who lives only in a manger or who scolds you for not following the rules.  Not the Jesus who promises a happy and painless life, nor the one who is a Republican (or some other political pawn).  Not the Jesus who hates gays or smokers or kids who get pregnant before marriage.  Not the Jesus who inspires the KKK or hatred or bombing abortion clinics.  Jesus has nothing to do with any of those.  Yet, Christianity or Christians or Church or some other Jesus related term has become attached to all of these things throughout time and that couldn't be further from the Jesus I know and I see in Scripture.  And so, it is incredibly important to stop and unlearn the lies incorrectly attached to Jesus.    

Jesus lived a life of love, compassion, boldness, strength, courage, and selflessness.  But too many people have used the name of Jesus to make money, build empires, terrorize others, etc.  Thus, I spend a lot of time unlearning things that are not true so I can actually follow the real Jesus.  But, if successful, a life modeled on Jesus' will provide exactly as He promised: life to the full and rest for the soul.  That is a life worth living.

Poverty: the real picture of a huge minority

I have written about poverty before, but it has been a while, and things have changed.  My perspective on what poverty is has widened.  Now, it is not just about being poor in the wallet, but poor in every other area too.  It seems that those impoverished in other nations are sometimes richer in life.

I met with a woman yesterday in a rough area of Baton Rouge.  While driving to her home, I noticed all of the abandoned, dilapidated, and destroyed homes along the way.  There was a sadness to the place as if hope was on life support.  

I parked on the side of the road and walked up through an overgrown yard to a rickety door locked up tight.  After ringing the door bell, I hear a shout "who be there?!"  I replied and she opened the door.  She was a very nice lady, but not in the best health.  She was working 40-55 hours per week and trying to get as much overtime as possible.  She was concerned though because at any time they can lay her off, cut back her hours, and she'd be in bad financial shape.  

Like most people in that area, she has a paid for house, but it's not worth much.  She has very little debt, but no money in the bank either.  She is getting on in years and she has no hope of retiring with anything other than social security which would provide about 1/3 of her current income.  What is likely to happen, is that in another 10 years, her health will begin to falter, forcing her to cut back hours, barely have enough income to make ends meet, and squeak out the rest of her life on whatever government programs can help her get through to the end.

During our conversation, her son who is 28 bursts into the home with his 1 year old son.  He's not married, acts like he's drunk, and is smoking inside her house right next to his son.  He's employed, but only part time, so she helps take care of the 1 year old from time to time as she can.

I leave her house, saddened by her plight and unable to do anything substantial that will change her life.  While leaving I notice the sort of businesses as I leave.  There is, in my opinion, no honestly good business in sight.  There are a few alcohol stores (which also carry a few grocery items), check advance and payday loan places, hair salon, a fast food chain, and a strip joint.  Seriously.  No grocery stores, banks, small businesses, etc.  The one school I came across looked fairly new, but structured similarly to a prison.

The amazing fact is this: according to the Congressional Budget Office, about 40% of our country lives in a place like this (based on the lowest 40% of income earners).  I'm not a brain surgeon or a rocket scientist, but I can tell you that neither republicans nor democrats have a solution for this.  The only thing that will work is the favor of God and millions of well-paid, full-time jobs.  We as a nation, are choosing to pursue neither of these priorities.

I also know that that portion of our population has increased in the last 30 years and is continuing to do so.  It is simply a matter of time before we can no longer sustain this sort of poverty.  Clearly, I have no idea when we'll reach that point, but I can't imagine that day is too far away.

Lord, please come soon.

Godliness with Contentment

1 Timothy 6:6: "Godliness with contentment is great gain."

Sermon over.  Now application...ouch.

Verses like these convince me that I can spend an entire lifetime walking through the Word, and never ever be able to fully put It into practice.  Godliness is one thing, contentment another.  Let me chew on the second piece today though.  Because isn't the grass always greener on the other side of the fence?  Don't we always want to be number one?  Don't we always want to win?  Don't we always want to get the highest scores, the best stuff, and work the hardest at work to be awarded or appreciated the most?  Don't we want to be the person at church who the pastor leans on and goes to whenever he needs something?  Don't we want to be the better spouse, the better child, the smartest guy in the room?

But The Lord says that contentment is key...that we should toss all those other yearnings and desires in the trash can because they do not satisfy.

Should we be excellent at what we do? Yes.  But that should not be our end.  We shouldn't do anything out of selfish ambition, but instead be truly humble (summary of Philippians 2:3).  But aren't we taught and trained to set a goal which usually has some great value to us (selfish goal) and then put everything we have behind it so that we can obtain it?  This happens all the time in sales and is pretty much the basis for most advertising...showing things we "have to have" to get us to buy.  But isn't that the exact opposite of the sort of life God calls us to?

Be content.  Stop chasing after anything but God.

What if nearly everything we think, we feel, we do, and we say is counter to the yearning of the Lord?  We need a heart transplant.  We need a brain transplant.  We need the Lord to transform our lives.

Coming back to start again

It is s good thing that Godis faithful, and that He is faithful no matter what Matt does.

I've spent much of the last six months studying through scripture as I have worked through a great resource called "Learn the bible in 24 hours."  As I have read through and learned, I see the same story repeated all through scripture:  Israel becomes close to the Lord and then wanders away and God continues to pursue her always.  He has made a commitment to her forever, that no matter what she does, she will be His people.

I see that same commitment by God to me as I have chosen to walk with Him through the years.  I, just like Israel, continue to go through cycles of pursuing Him and His path and then changing course slowly and drifting towards Matt's path, finding myself lost, then returning to Him again.

For years now, a verse that has become a great anchor to me in these times of getting lost.  Jeremiah 6:16.  It is a promise and a curse.  And both are blessings from the Lord.  This is exactly his love for his people.  "Stand at the crossroads and look.  Ask for the the ancient path, the godly path where the good way is; walk in it and you will find rest for your souls."

After several weeks of sleepless nights and a mind that is constantly running as if the whole world depended on me- which I sometimes arrogantly believe it does-rest for my soul sounds like the greatest gift in the world.  Maybe you can relate?

We're entering for most of us the busiest time of the year, giving us plenty of opportunity to get off track, miss the point, and end up tired and worn out.  This isn't the ancient path, the good way.  This is the way of the world, the way of American life in 2014.  I encourage you to also seek the ancient path.  Because the next part of the verse tells us how God is faithful to get our attention when we don't turn back to him...it's not a pretty picture.

It's much better to fall on The Rock and be broken and humbled than to have The Rock fall on you and be crushed under it's weight.  And with a promise of rest for your soul if you choose and walks the godly way, why would we ever choose another way?  May we return to the Lord and cast off the worldly way.  May we choose to live not for ourselves, what we can gain, get, take, but instead what we may do to serve and love others.  May we continually be crucified with Christ so that we no longer live, but it is Christ who lives in us.

Fig Newton Anyone?

I just read through Matthew 21:18-22 where Jesus gets hungry, goes to the fig tree to find a fig to eat, finds no figs, and curses the tree since it bore no fruit so that it instantly withers.

I pray that I may always have a life that produces good fruit for Jesus.  Otherwise, I may find myself following the same path as the fruit tree...a shortened life and destruction.  May we not become complacent in our lives, seeking our own gain, but instead, live in such a way that we honestly and intentionally love Jesus and others more than we love ourselves.  May we produce fruit in our lives that is sweet and good and quenches the hunger of Our Lord.

And Now I Celebrate

Okay, now that I've grieved for America and prayed for America, it is time to celebrate.  It still may be a screwy country with problems politically and morally, etc, but it is still the best country on the planet!  We may not have it all together (or even close!), but when I take a look around the world, things are falling apart in much bigger ways.  I am very thankful that we do have a democracy that works, an economy that is stable (especially compared to globally) and a culture that has laws to hold things together.  There are many things I'd change if I could, but then again, I bet there always have been as long as we've been a country.

So, let us celebrate our Independence Day with not a blind adoration for a country, nor a cynical view of the world.  Instead, let us thank God that we have the freedoms we do and keep fighting to make sure they continue.  May we continue to turn towards Him, fuel love towards each other, and may God bless America!

Grieving for America

Each day an app on my phone flags a verse for me to read.  What I love about this app, is that the verses are always words of Jesus'.  Today's was this:
Luke 6:32-36 "If you love those who love you, what benefit is that to you?  For even sinners love those who love them.  And if you do good to those who do good to you, what benefit is that to you?  For even sinners do the same.  And if you lend to those from whom you expect to receive, what credit is that to you?  Even sinners lend to sinners to get back the same amount.  But love your enemies, do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungratefull and the evil.  Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful."

Clearly, this verse struck to my heart as I need to work through these pieces and follow Jesus.  I feel that most of the time, the words of Jesus are in the back of my mind, prodding me to do follow in his footsteps, but I often take a separate path.  May I choose Jesus instead.

However, today, as I read this verse, it confirmed my thoughts and feelings about July 4th.  I won't be hanging a flag, I won't be celebrating all that much except in the ceremonial time with friends and grilling.  Instead, I'll be grieving.  Because the Independence Day we celebrate from 1776 is overshadowed now by our own decay.  What do we have to celebrate for our country?  That we're the richest country in the world?  That we can go to war with anyone we want to?  That we choose power, success, money, pleasure, or achievement over love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodnesss, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control?

I can't help but think that this isn't the America that our founding fathers would have chosen. 

When the nation was built on faith in God, yet now is lived as if God doesn't exist, this is of concern.  The amazing stories we hear daily of pain and suffering of people hurting other people breaks my heart.  When once we were a united states, standing up against tyranny and for freedom, now to create new kinds of slavery and hardship on ourselves.  Like dogs returning to their vomit. 

Anyway, I won't be celebrating America tomorrow.  I'll be grieving for Her, praying that love is enfused into Her, and pleading with Jesus to give more faith to our nation.

Are non-profits and government programs killing a dying Christian Church?

As we read in Acts 2, the Christian Church is very much alive.  They are growing, inspiring, and transforming the world.  How do they do this?  Summarizing John Piper:
1. Burning conviction
2. Really GOOD news in the midst of a broken world
3. Christian communities marked by purity
4. Christian communicties without classes or discrimination
5. Charitable service
6. Readiness and willingness to give all away, even to the point of death

Unfortunately, Christianity in America is pretty much focused on only number 2 with a little 1 thrown in.  And I can understand why...the ACLU has taken of the case of descrimination 4
3. Has been eradicated because of a myth that since "we are not under the law", we must not really worry about purity.
4. The ACLU and government makes sure that we do our best not to discriminate.  Of course, this doesn't actually bind people of different classes and races together like the early church did, but we've let that be enough.
5. Charitable service is now the sole property of non-profits and government programs like welfare and food stamps.
6.  We have either bought into the lies of consumerism and are unwilling to give, OR we do not associate with enough people who are poorer than we are so there is no one to give to.

Obviuosly many of these things are very good and helpful to many people, and I firmly believe that God is at work in many of these things.  Is it possible that this is the hands and feet of the Church outside of the Christian communities of old?  Or do we as the church need to reclaim these lost tenants of our faithful service to follow in the footsteps of Jesus?  Do we stop supporting non-profits and begin including that in the work of the Church?  Do we seek out people who are different to make them well-respected and honored people in our relationships?  Do we seek out the poor and find ways to give beyond the 10% that some of us give? 

And what should we pray for?  That God would drive the Christian Church in America underground so that we can find our way again?  Or that somehow, we would all come to our senses and begin afresh?

May we continue seeking the heart of Our Lord today and tomorrow, never stopping in this race until it is finished.

Well that was quick!

I never would have guessed 2 weeks later that I've made a job offer and have hired exactly the person I've been looking and praying for.  The Lord be praised!

May we all continue seeking and ask for the godly way so that we can walk it and find peace for our souls.

Testimony

As a testimony to what God will do, I am writing this.

I am stopping my search for staff and will wait for God to bring that person to me.  I have searched and foud that God is calling me to stop searching.  He will provide that person.

Jeremiah 6:16.  This is the ancient path.  This is the path I will walk.

I look forward to sharing how He provides.

How many times is it written?

It's funny how long it takes, how many times we have to read it, how many times we deny it, before we believe it's true.  In an effort to help myself believe it, I'm recording as many verses as I can think of that speak to the fact that when we seek Christ and His Kingdom, everything else falls into place.  If you can think of others, please add on!  I am going to be putting one verse from each book of the bible to make the point obvious to all of us who continue to go our own way.

...Noah was a righteous man, the only blameless man living on earth at the time.  He consistently followed God's will and enjoyed a close relationship with him.(we all know what followed that verse...he lived through the great flood that wiped out everyone else and he started humanity over)
Genesis 6:9

You must serve only the Lord your God.  If you do, I will bless you with food and water, and i will keep you healthy.
Exodus 23:25

If you keep my laws and are careful to obey my commands...you will eat your fill and live secuirely in your land...i will look favorably upon you...etc.
Leviticus 26:3-12

Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart
Psalm 37:4

And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.
Romans 8:28

What God Blesses

"Stop asking God to bless what you're doing.  Instead, simply do what God blesses."

If you've had a conversation with me in the last month or two there is a good chance that I have shared my story of how last year was a very frustrating, anxiety filled, depressing year.  Not from the outside of course- from the outside everything was good.  It was an inside problem.  The problem was that I was pursuing lots of other kingdom's besides God's. 

Worries about finances and meeting business goals (building my kingdom), expectations of others (building their kingdoms), and all the while knowing God brought us here for some reason...the message that finally saved me.  Frustrated and tired, eyes swollen with tears held back all year, I sat on a bench in a local park and had a heart to heart conversation with God.  Like most of these conversations, I spent most of the time yelling at God for all of my problems and asking Him what on earth He wants from me.  And like most of these conversations, I was met with silence...

Silence.

It's really hard to hear someone else when you're screaming.  So silence helps us to hear.

That's when God let me in on His little secret.  "Matt, you're exactly where you're supposed to be.  In the midst of your struggles, in a business that is having a hard time taking root, in a culture that encourages foolishness and scoffs at wisdom, in a place with few friends, and few to counsel you.  You still have me.  And I put you where you are.  You aren't responsible for the circumstances you find yourself in...I put you here.  You're exactly where you're supposed to be."

Like a spring of water to a man dying of thirst, this brought a rushing wave of rest for my soul and peace to my mind.

See, Kim and I had followed God's leading and moved.  We had gone to where he intended us to go!  Yet, I was taking the blame for the difficulties, the failures, the inadequacies that I found myself stuck in.  But it was God who led me there!  It was His path I walked- not mine!  The beginning of healing was planted.

Fast forward two months and I find myself fighting against this knowledge.  Because the world says you build your own business, you cut your own path, you reap what you sew.  And although this is partly true, it is far from the entire truth.  God doesn't follow the rules of man.  Instead, He has other rules that govern His universe.  Thankfully, He has let us in on a few. 

One of those is to pursue His kingdom first (and His righteousness) and He'll add all things that we need after that (Matthew 6:33).  OR we can try to build our own kingdom, living a life of stress and anxiety where we may have those things we need.  His path provides rest for our souls (Jeremiah 6:16).  Ours creates depression, anxiety, and fear.  Any sane person would choose His path each time.  But I am clearly not altogether sane.  I doubt you are either.

May we all stop pursuing other kingdoms, and instead look only towards His.  May we seek His righteousness.  May we find all that we need and may we find rest for our souls.

Choose the Ancient Paths

Recently I run up against a wall.  Full force, head on, wall.  My struggle is that I'm spending so much time and energy thinking, doing, and planning for things of little value and worth.  I cannot express the wasted time, energy, and brain power spent on my iphone or computer games or xbox or watching football or some other way we all entertain ourselves.  It adds no value, none at all.  Instead, it often faintly perverts.  Hidden, as if a slow drug working its way through veins for months before it reaches the heart.  I'm convinced that these technologies that we take for granted now have influenced us much more than we know.

My heart yearns for older times, for peace and for rest.  Not older as in my younger days, or back when gas was less than $1 a gallon.  I mean ancient times.  Really old.  (yes, this may be one of the subtle reasons I have grown out a beard...)

In Jeremiah 6:16 the Lord says "Stop at the crossroads and look.  Ask for the ancient paths where the good way is (some versions say 'the godly way'), and walk in it.  And you will find rest for your souls."

Now that's what I'm talking about!

Those ancients in scriptures, the ones like Elisha or Elijah or Enoch or Abraham or Noah, they walked a path unknown to us.  Not because we haven't read their story or know what they did, but because we don't walk the same path.  We are busy!  We are successful!  We have great homes and great stuff!

But do we have rest for our souls?

So how do we get on a different path? 
Step 1: Stop.  Stop....seriously, stop.  Wait.  Rest.  Stop.
Now look.  Take it in.  Look at the paths before you.  Ask for the Ancient one.  Not the shiny, new, flashy, exciting, thrilling, entertaining one (what does this say about how we choose our churches).  Ask for the Ancient paths.
Walk it.

And may we all find rest for our souls.

Balance

If I die at age 100 and look back, I imagine that I'll have spent an entire life floating between a life of extremes, trying to grasp the balance that lays in the middle.  We see this lived out for us daily in our lives...the way we spend money, the political rhetoric, talk shows, tv, movies, and we see it in the way we one day have plenty of energy and pretty soon are exhausted.

I'm exhausted.

For a solid 2 months now I've been working my tail off (and thank God!).  It's been exceedingly busy this month with very productive conversations and meetings, but my mind and body are on the edge of failure.  It's times like this that rest is so very important.  And if I don't make time for rest, my body will- it will simply give out.

So, I cut out early today to find a little more balance between working hard and being wise.  Wisdom tells us work diligently when the harvest comes, but do so in a way where we don't die in the process.  So, I'll take that option and see if it doesn't end at a better destination.

Fishing on the other side of the boat

If you walk in my office, you'll find a 3' x 3.5' painting of the disciples fishing out in a lake.  On the shore you'll see a dozen footprints in the sand with the waves lapping up against them.  This is from John chapter 21 where the disciples after fishing after Jesus' resurrection.  After casting their nets out all night and into the morning, they have not caught one fish (since they're professional fishermen, this has to be a low point for them).  Then what happens?  Jesus walks up on the scene and tells them to throw their nets off the other side of the boat.  They do, and their nets overflow with caught fish (as a side note, I'm kind of impressed that the professionals actually listened to some random guy on the beach telling them to do something as arbitrary as throw their nets off the other side of the boat; seriously, would you or me actually do this?  I'd probably get frustrated and throw a rock at the guy.  As if they hadn't tried that yet?!)

Years ago, Kim painted this picture for me to help me remember that my job is to simply throw out the fishing line and God will be the one to bring in the catch.  It's helped me make it through trying times when it feels like the wheels are falling off and I've run out of steam entirely.  It's helped me focus on my calling rather than the results of my occupation.

It's good to remember that we aren't responsible for success- God is.  We are to walk the path He has given us and that is it.  Whether it leads to success or failure, wealth or poverty, we are to walk the path He has provided.  And by doing so, we experience the joy of living with Christ.

In April/May my business slowed dramatically as I began to run out of contacts in which to connect.  I became frustrated and stressed, partly because of financials, but mostly because I had the desire and time to serve others, yet couldn't find anyone to serve!  Then in June, I somehow received the idea (was it my idea, someone else, God's?  I really don't know) to reach out to people I had never reached out to before.  Largely through Facebook and other social networks, I began circling up with people from years and years ago.  And what has happened?  Suddenly there are plenty of people to reach out to and my boat is overflowing with fish!!! 

It's so difficult to see God at work when we're in the midst of it.  But, when we reflect we see the masterpiece of the story He is creating.  2-3 years ago Kim painted me this picture to keep me in the game.  I had no idea that years later, God would ask me to throw my nets on the other side of the boat and bring in a great catch just like is illustrated above my desk.

It's a blessing that I get to serve so many great people.  It's even a greater blessing that I get to serve simply because I listened to God telling me to call on people I had never called on before.

Is Christ moving you into a time where things are drying up?  Maybe it is because He is leading you to step out in faith on a new path, for a new purpose, with a new group of people?  Maybe He's putting you in a situation like me of frustration and desperation to also give you the joy of hauling in a huge catch which you had no part in creating.  You just get to haul it in and then swim to the shore to meet back up with Him.

Giving Thanks

After a month of struggle and desperation to get the ball moving again, it's the little glimmers of hope that help me continue.  I had another person today whom I haven't spoken to in years and reached out to this week say that they'd love to meet about planning.  I'm so thankful to God for these moments.  I feel like most of my time is spent in one long drawn out prayer of desperation, clinging to our Lord while doing all I can to do what He has asked me to do.  And then the moments of hope enfuse my confidence in Him and the habits given me to do.

Thank you!  May I continue to persevere in this time of dryness, resting under Your wings as often as I can.

A Season of Prayer

It's been a while since I've written here, and what better way to get back into it than through prayer... Lord, teach me Your ways and how to walk the path You've laid out for us. Make me to know and remember that it is You who provides for us, it is You who gives strength, it is You we serve. May we become little so you can reign in our lives. Provide for us as You have promised; may we rely on you fully and yet work hard to plow the fields You've allotted us. May we not forget You or the great work that You have provided us. Bless us as we seek to do the best we can with what You've given. Amen.

So, There is a God!

Probably most of my life I have spent talking to the ceiling or the wall or the steering wheel hoping to hear back from our super-natural friend, God.  And most of the time there is no response.  Why?  I really don't know, but my guess is that our heart and soul aren't in our prayers.  We kind of recite some litany of words we're supposed to string together in certain times or for certain people, and that's supposed to mean something.  However, when our heart and soul is tied up into our plea, it seems God hears us better.  Or rather, He hears what our heart is actually saying and it is finally in line with our prayer.

This past week I became overwhelmed with the circumstances kicking our butts right now.  And through tears, I asked Him to help us with our car.  Within an hour I heard back from the mechanic that Honda said they'd fix my car for free since it was a problem that has developed with all of those models of Hondas.  AWESOME.  Thank you God!

Also this past week I couldn't take anymore of the depression in my business.  I have tried to reach out to everyone I can think of, asked for referrals, trying to get some sort of momentum happening; yet none came.  Again, I literaly cried out to God about this, telling Him exactly what I've done and tried to do and that I can't do anything else.  I'm tapped out, I'm done.  I literally have no more ideas, energy, or desire to do this.  And within an hour I receive an email with five referrals.  Thank you Lord! 

So, there is a God!  And it turns out He does listen, He does care, and He does rescue us.  Maybe it is just that we try to rely on His intervention way too soon and too often.  Do we have to exhaust ourselves before He steps in?  Maybe so.  Otherwise, it wouldn't be Him rescuing us; He'd just be helping us build our own lives, instead of us learning how to live His life in us.