"Stop asking God to bless what you're doing. Instead, simply do what God blesses."
If you've had a conversation with me in the last month or two there is a good chance that I have shared my story of how last year was a very frustrating, anxiety filled, depressing year. Not from the outside of course- from the outside everything was good. It was an inside problem. The problem was that I was pursuing lots of other kingdom's besides God's.
Worries about finances and meeting business goals (building my kingdom), expectations of others (building their kingdoms), and all the while knowing God brought us here for some reason...the message that finally saved me. Frustrated and tired, eyes swollen with tears held back all year, I sat on a bench in a local park and had a heart to heart conversation with God. Like most of these conversations, I spent most of the time yelling at God for all of my problems and asking Him what on earth He wants from me. And like most of these conversations, I was met with silence...
Silence.
It's really hard to hear someone else when you're screaming. So silence helps us to hear.
That's when God let me in on His little secret. "Matt, you're exactly where you're supposed to be. In the midst of your struggles, in a business that is having a hard time taking root, in a culture that encourages foolishness and scoffs at wisdom, in a place with few friends, and few to counsel you. You still have me. And I put you where you are. You aren't responsible for the circumstances you find yourself in...I put you here. You're exactly where you're supposed to be."
Like a spring of water to a man dying of thirst, this brought a rushing wave of rest for my soul and peace to my mind.
See, Kim and I had followed God's leading and moved. We had gone to where he intended us to go! Yet, I was taking the blame for the difficulties, the failures, the inadequacies that I found myself stuck in. But it was God who led me there! It was His path I walked- not mine! The beginning of healing was planted.
Fast forward two months and I find myself fighting against this knowledge. Because the world says you build your own business, you cut your own path, you reap what you sew. And although this is partly true, it is far from the entire truth. God doesn't follow the rules of man. Instead, He has other rules that govern His universe. Thankfully, He has let us in on a few.
One of those is to pursue His kingdom first (and His righteousness) and He'll add all things that we need after that (Matthew 6:33). OR we can try to build our own kingdom, living a life of stress and anxiety where we may have those things we need. His path provides rest for our souls (Jeremiah 6:16). Ours creates depression, anxiety, and fear. Any sane person would choose His path each time. But I am clearly not altogether sane. I doubt you are either.
May we all stop pursuing other kingdoms, and instead look only towards His. May we seek His righteousness. May we find all that we need and may we find rest for our souls.
