Sunday, June 19, 2011

Rested and Ready

It's 6:38pm Sunday night.  Kim's making sugar cookies while we both listen to Pete's live message from  And we're ready to head back.  After about a month of sabbatical I think we've both found what we were looking for.  It's not that we've reached some stage of self-actualization from Maslow's hierarchy of needs, but instead, found what we needed.

For both of us, we've had a wonderful opportunity to slow down, to rest, to breath.  Especially for Kim, she's had an opportunity to think for herself and without the persuasion of all of those around us in life, church, work, and home.  She's really had a chance to process through what she believes and what she can commit to doing to serve.  It's amazing how much we run non-stop in every aspect of life and don't take enough time to process things.  It's been a wonderful time for both of us.

For me, I'm more at peace, less critical/cynical, more in-tune with what matters, more aware of the truth that this world we're living in is not the end.  We're headed to another.  A renewed Earth.  It's what my heart longs for and what strikes me when I see this world as it is.  It's the sadness, the sickness, the fear, the anxiety that comes from participating and watching this world not as it is supposed to be but as it is.  It's as if our Lord has placed a tugging on my heart that isn't going away.  There is a reason that my heart is unsettled...we live in an un-restored Earth.  And He will make all things new!  It just hasn't come to fruition yet.

So, we've got some time left, you and I.  What will we do with this life we have?  How do we live in such a way to honor our Lord, to enjoy this life, to look after the least of us, and set our sights on the life ahead?  I don't have a full answer to any of those questions yet, but I look forward to the journey.

Tuesday, June 7, 2011


Recently I have had the great opportunity to speak with people about my job.  I've talked to those who I think should be doing what I am doing and who I think would love it.  I talk about the struggles, the successes, the failures, the joys, the rewards, the impact, the freedom...I sell it.  Why?  Because after 5 years of doing what I'm doing, I finally believe that it's worth it.  And so, I have a conversation with them to recruit them into the business.

However, it wasn't always like this.  In fact, it has never been like this until now.  For years I would try to help our office by attempting to recruit people, but I never could.  I didn't know what the problem was so I assumed that wasn't my gift.  That other people were built with the necessary skills or personalities to recruit, but not me.  The real problem was that I wasn't sold on it yet myself.  For all of my effort and desire, I couldn't communicate to others any reason to do what I was doing because I hadn't experienced the benefit yet.  That has now changed.

I'm finally at the point in my business that they talk about when you begin: the 5th year.  Up until this point, it is survival mode and you're just trying to keep your feet under you as you build a client base making no money, getting told no every day from strangers and friends alike, and living a life of rejection.  Then, you wake up and you're in the 5th year, and although you're not rolling in the dough, business has become much easier.  You're not worried about going into debt, or having enough to pay the bills, or what this guy will say when you pick up the phone.  It's good.  And you know it's good because you experience it...

All of my life I've had a hard time recruiting Christians.  In fact, I've never been able to do it.  And like recruiting, I've played it off.  "I'm not the evangelical type.  I don't evangelize because I'm not gifted in that."

I am saddened to say...I think the reason I've failed miserably to share my faith with others is because I don't yet fully believe myself.  I haven't experienced the joy of our faith enough to want to invite everyone to join in.  Oh Jesus, what now?

Because I have been a Christian for a long time, and still have no idea what it means to live a life of faith and follow Christ right now.