Thursday, May 17, 2012

When The Wheels Come Off

This morning a friend of mine became irrationally angry and frustrated and took that frustration out on me and another friend. Since this person is one of the sweetest people on the planet, it's obvious that the behavior was completely abnormal. I'm nearly positive that it is a side affect of the anti-depression medicine they are taking to help cope with recent grief.

Two days ago I became extremely frustrated after a potential client chose not to do what was in their best interest and committed to take a less wise path of financial planning. People choosing to do things that are not at all in their own best interest all the time. So, why I did I get so frustrated?

Because three days before then, in a matter of 24 hours, I learned that I owed about $9,000 to a company I work with because they had overpaid me 12 months ago. Then on my way home, my car's engine died resulting in a $3,000 bill to fix it. On top of that, April was a low income month for my business which means I needed a better May. May was set up to be a huge income month, but surprisingly to me, a majority of people chose to delay or decide against doing what they had previously decided to do. In a nut shell, I had a financial emergency that totaled $12,000, I had a bad month with income, and I became extremely stressed out, determined to wear myself out emotionally and mentally in an attempt to fix this situation.

So, this brings me to a few conclusions. One: our behavior often has aboslutely nothing to do with the present circumstances.  It nearly always has to do with something else that is leading us to act a certain way.  Two: it's always a good idea to do proper planning and preparation. If Kim and I hadn't set aside savings along the way, we'd pretty much be screwed right now instead of just stressed. Three: God clearly wants something different for us than we want. Since my plan involved bringing in plenty of income to make significant financial strides and God's plan involved us getting pushed back financially, clearly we have to different paths. And I'm okay with that. In fact, my initial reaction to all of this was a good one. I was excited to see what God was doing and why and what would come from it...but when reality hit about what that means to us directly, it was difficult to keep a level head. Four: thinking of my friend, we as a community need to find ways to breathe life into each other, not simply look for a medication to help (yes there are some cases where it is helpful, but on the whole, we are way over medicated). The side affects from not overflowing life to others are even more disastrous than those of the medicine.

I guess I'll leave us with this thought: when the wheels come off in life, where do we run? Do we medicate? Do we get frustrated and internally explode? Do we try to Rambo up and try to march through it on our own? Or is there some way to dive into community, lean on others, seek council and love and support and friendships and listening ears that will allow us to get through our struggles in one piece? Is it possible to find peace amidst the storm?

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