Choose the Ancient Paths

Recently I run up against a wall.  Full force, head on, wall.  My struggle is that I'm spending so much time and energy thinking, doing, and planning for things of little value and worth.  I cannot express the wasted time, energy, and brain power spent on my iphone or computer games or xbox or watching football or some other way we all entertain ourselves.  It adds no value, none at all.  Instead, it often faintly perverts.  Hidden, as if a slow drug working its way through veins for months before it reaches the heart.  I'm convinced that these technologies that we take for granted now have influenced us much more than we know.

My heart yearns for older times, for peace and for rest.  Not older as in my younger days, or back when gas was less than $1 a gallon.  I mean ancient times.  Really old.  (yes, this may be one of the subtle reasons I have grown out a beard...)

In Jeremiah 6:16 the Lord says "Stop at the crossroads and look.  Ask for the ancient paths where the good way is (some versions say 'the godly way'), and walk in it.  And you will find rest for your souls."

Now that's what I'm talking about!

Those ancients in scriptures, the ones like Elisha or Elijah or Enoch or Abraham or Noah, they walked a path unknown to us.  Not because we haven't read their story or know what they did, but because we don't walk the same path.  We are busy!  We are successful!  We have great homes and great stuff!

But do we have rest for our souls?

So how do we get on a different path? 
Step 1: Stop.  Stop....seriously, stop.  Wait.  Rest.  Stop.
Now look.  Take it in.  Look at the paths before you.  Ask for the Ancient one.  Not the shiny, new, flashy, exciting, thrilling, entertaining one (what does this say about how we choose our churches).  Ask for the Ancient paths.
Walk it.

And may we all find rest for our souls.

Balance

If I die at age 100 and look back, I imagine that I'll have spent an entire life floating between a life of extremes, trying to grasp the balance that lays in the middle.  We see this lived out for us daily in our lives...the way we spend money, the political rhetoric, talk shows, tv, movies, and we see it in the way we one day have plenty of energy and pretty soon are exhausted.

I'm exhausted.

For a solid 2 months now I've been working my tail off (and thank God!).  It's been exceedingly busy this month with very productive conversations and meetings, but my mind and body are on the edge of failure.  It's times like this that rest is so very important.  And if I don't make time for rest, my body will- it will simply give out.

So, I cut out early today to find a little more balance between working hard and being wise.  Wisdom tells us work diligently when the harvest comes, but do so in a way where we don't die in the process.  So, I'll take that option and see if it doesn't end at a better destination.

Fishing on the other side of the boat

If you walk in my office, you'll find a 3' x 3.5' painting of the disciples fishing out in a lake.  On the shore you'll see a dozen footprints in the sand with the waves lapping up against them.  This is from John chapter 21 where the disciples after fishing after Jesus' resurrection.  After casting their nets out all night and into the morning, they have not caught one fish (since they're professional fishermen, this has to be a low point for them).  Then what happens?  Jesus walks up on the scene and tells them to throw their nets off the other side of the boat.  They do, and their nets overflow with caught fish (as a side note, I'm kind of impressed that the professionals actually listened to some random guy on the beach telling them to do something as arbitrary as throw their nets off the other side of the boat; seriously, would you or me actually do this?  I'd probably get frustrated and throw a rock at the guy.  As if they hadn't tried that yet?!)

Years ago, Kim painted this picture for me to help me remember that my job is to simply throw out the fishing line and God will be the one to bring in the catch.  It's helped me make it through trying times when it feels like the wheels are falling off and I've run out of steam entirely.  It's helped me focus on my calling rather than the results of my occupation.

It's good to remember that we aren't responsible for success- God is.  We are to walk the path He has given us and that is it.  Whether it leads to success or failure, wealth or poverty, we are to walk the path He has provided.  And by doing so, we experience the joy of living with Christ.

In April/May my business slowed dramatically as I began to run out of contacts in which to connect.  I became frustrated and stressed, partly because of financials, but mostly because I had the desire and time to serve others, yet couldn't find anyone to serve!  Then in June, I somehow received the idea (was it my idea, someone else, God's?  I really don't know) to reach out to people I had never reached out to before.  Largely through Facebook and other social networks, I began circling up with people from years and years ago.  And what has happened?  Suddenly there are plenty of people to reach out to and my boat is overflowing with fish!!! 

It's so difficult to see God at work when we're in the midst of it.  But, when we reflect we see the masterpiece of the story He is creating.  2-3 years ago Kim painted me this picture to keep me in the game.  I had no idea that years later, God would ask me to throw my nets on the other side of the boat and bring in a great catch just like is illustrated above my desk.

It's a blessing that I get to serve so many great people.  It's even a greater blessing that I get to serve simply because I listened to God telling me to call on people I had never called on before.

Is Christ moving you into a time where things are drying up?  Maybe it is because He is leading you to step out in faith on a new path, for a new purpose, with a new group of people?  Maybe He's putting you in a situation like me of frustration and desperation to also give you the joy of hauling in a huge catch which you had no part in creating.  You just get to haul it in and then swim to the shore to meet back up with Him.

Giving Thanks

After a month of struggle and desperation to get the ball moving again, it's the little glimmers of hope that help me continue.  I had another person today whom I haven't spoken to in years and reached out to this week say that they'd love to meet about planning.  I'm so thankful to God for these moments.  I feel like most of my time is spent in one long drawn out prayer of desperation, clinging to our Lord while doing all I can to do what He has asked me to do.  And then the moments of hope enfuse my confidence in Him and the habits given me to do.

Thank you!  May I continue to persevere in this time of dryness, resting under Your wings as often as I can.

A Season of Prayer

It's been a while since I've written here, and what better way to get back into it than through prayer... Lord, teach me Your ways and how to walk the path You've laid out for us. Make me to know and remember that it is You who provides for us, it is You who gives strength, it is You we serve. May we become little so you can reign in our lives. Provide for us as You have promised; may we rely on you fully and yet work hard to plow the fields You've allotted us. May we not forget You or the great work that You have provided us. Bless us as we seek to do the best we can with what You've given. Amen.

So, There is a God!

Probably most of my life I have spent talking to the ceiling or the wall or the steering wheel hoping to hear back from our super-natural friend, God.  And most of the time there is no response.  Why?  I really don't know, but my guess is that our heart and soul aren't in our prayers.  We kind of recite some litany of words we're supposed to string together in certain times or for certain people, and that's supposed to mean something.  However, when our heart and soul is tied up into our plea, it seems God hears us better.  Or rather, He hears what our heart is actually saying and it is finally in line with our prayer.

This past week I became overwhelmed with the circumstances kicking our butts right now.  And through tears, I asked Him to help us with our car.  Within an hour I heard back from the mechanic that Honda said they'd fix my car for free since it was a problem that has developed with all of those models of Hondas.  AWESOME.  Thank you God!

Also this past week I couldn't take anymore of the depression in my business.  I have tried to reach out to everyone I can think of, asked for referrals, trying to get some sort of momentum happening; yet none came.  Again, I literaly cried out to God about this, telling Him exactly what I've done and tried to do and that I can't do anything else.  I'm tapped out, I'm done.  I literally have no more ideas, energy, or desire to do this.  And within an hour I receive an email with five referrals.  Thank you Lord! 

So, there is a God!  And it turns out He does listen, He does care, and He does rescue us.  Maybe it is just that we try to rely on His intervention way too soon and too often.  Do we have to exhaust ourselves before He steps in?  Maybe so.  Otherwise, it wouldn't be Him rescuing us; He'd just be helping us build our own lives, instead of us learning how to live His life in us.

When The Wheels Come Off

This morning a friend of mine became irrationally angry and frustrated and took that frustration out on me and another friend. Since this person is one of the sweetest people on the planet, it's obvious that the behavior was completely abnormal. I'm nearly positive that it is a side affect of the anti-depression medicine they are taking to help cope with recent grief.

Two days ago I became extremely frustrated after a potential client chose not to do what was in their best interest and committed to take a less wise path of financial planning. People choosing to do things that are not at all in their own best interest all the time. So, why I did I get so frustrated?

Because three days before then, in a matter of 24 hours, I learned that I owed about $9,000 to a company I work with because they had overpaid me 12 months ago. Then on my way home, my car's engine died resulting in a $3,000 bill to fix it. On top of that, April was a low income month for my business which means I needed a better May. May was set up to be a huge income month, but surprisingly to me, a majority of people chose to delay or decide against doing what they had previously decided to do. In a nut shell, I had a financial emergency that totaled $12,000, I had a bad month with income, and I became extremely stressed out, determined to wear myself out emotionally and mentally in an attempt to fix this situation.

So, this brings me to a few conclusions. One: our behavior often has aboslutely nothing to do with the present circumstances.  It nearly always has to do with something else that is leading us to act a certain way.  Two: it's always a good idea to do proper planning and preparation. If Kim and I hadn't set aside savings along the way, we'd pretty much be screwed right now instead of just stressed. Three: God clearly wants something different for us than we want. Since my plan involved bringing in plenty of income to make significant financial strides and God's plan involved us getting pushed back financially, clearly we have to different paths. And I'm okay with that. In fact, my initial reaction to all of this was a good one. I was excited to see what God was doing and why and what would come from it...but when reality hit about what that means to us directly, it was difficult to keep a level head. Four: thinking of my friend, we as a community need to find ways to breathe life into each other, not simply look for a medication to help (yes there are some cases where it is helpful, but on the whole, we are way over medicated). The side affects from not overflowing life to others are even more disastrous than those of the medicine.

I guess I'll leave us with this thought: when the wheels come off in life, where do we run? Do we medicate? Do we get frustrated and internally explode? Do we try to Rambo up and try to march through it on our own? Or is there some way to dive into community, lean on others, seek council and love and support and friendships and listening ears that will allow us to get through our struggles in one piece? Is it possible to find peace amidst the storm?