Sunday, February 20, 2011

Collapsing Sandcastles

There is a song by Switchfoot that sums up how I felt this past week: "Let that Be Enough"...

"I wish I had what I need
To be on my own
'Cause I feel so defeated
And I'm feeling alone

And it all seems so helpless
And I have no plans
I'm a plane in the sunset
With nowhere to land"

And all I see
It could never make me happy And all my sand castles
Spend their time collapsing"

No matter how much I tell myself that it'll get better, or it's just a bad week, or think about all the people who have it much worse than you do, feelings don't change.  Because although all of these things are true, they don't answer the question I'm really asking.  They don't capture my heart.

And most of this week, that's where I stayed.  My sandcastles were collapsing and I had no control over any of it.  It turns out...I can't stop the tide.

"And I feel stuck
Watching history repeating
Yeah, who am I?
Just a kid who knows he's needy"

It took a whole week for me to get past myself and ask the right question that was at the heart of my frustration.  Lord...

"Let me know that You hear me
Let me know Your touch
Let me know that You love me
And let that be enough"

I am finding that most of my life is spent chasing things that are in addition to Jesus.  Jesus + success.  Jesus + wealth.  Jesus + religion.  Jesus + ___.  And yes I know this will not be the last time I say this, but I'm tired of living in a Jesus + world.

Pete, our teaching pastor at Crosspoint Church quoted someone else today who said, "Religion always complicates what God makes simple."  Too true.  And I complicate this life that God made simple.  Instead of grasping for control, trying to hold back the tides from sweeping my castles away, may I simply know that You hear me, are hear, and love me.  And let that be enough.

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