It's funny how I go in spurts of writing here. Sometimes I feel there is so much to say! Other times...the screen saver in my brain is up. So I don't write. Because writing or speaking with nothing truly to communicate is noise. Our world has enough noise without me adding to it.
There is a song by Skypark that I've been chewing on for about ten years - Over Blue City. It's one of those songs that if you listen to it, it probably won't have much meaning at all for you. I'm convinced it was written just for me.
There is a line in the song that has been echoing in my mind lately (and for the past ten years): "that city blue that you once knew, means all the world to me." Early on, for whatever reason, I decided that city blue is New Orleans. And apparently it means the world to God. That's what I've judged. Because I believe that this song was sung from God to me.
When I studied at Belmont in Nashville, I attended a church for a time called Judson Baptist Church (if you're picturing a Southern Baptist church in your head, your visualization is exactly right). After Katrina, the preacher at that time stood before an audience of eager learners and declared that this was God's judgement on New Orleans for its sin. I don't recall being more pissed at a preacher than that day. Because I knew many things at that moment: this guy doesn't know our Lord, he ruined a great opportunity to spur love, compassion, and mercy, and I was going to continue having a hard time finding Jesus in church.
Why? Because, that city blue that I once knew, means all the world to Him.
And now, in the midst of Kim and my battling through what it means for us to follow Jesus, it looks like our journey may take us back down to the city. So, please pray for us as we seek to follow His lead. Because while we believe He will provide for us, we disbelieve he will provide for us. We struggle to have faith and dive into what is likely to be a difficult transition.
A recent quote from my Utmost for His Highest: "We limit the Holy One of Israel by remembering what we have allowed Him to do for us in the past, and by saying, 'Of course I cannot expect God to do this thing'...We impoverish His ministry the moment we forget He is Almighty."
Lord, we believe; help us with our disbelief.